Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Picking Yourself Back Up

     It’s late in the 4th quarter, with the time winding down on the opening game of the JV football season.  Cross-town rivals pitted in the heat of battle, the score all tied up with the home team driving deep into enemy territory for the win.  With 3rd and short threatening, the home team uses a time out to make sure the play call is perfect.  The home team uses it’s last remaining time out to make sure they have the right play called.  As the offense stood huddled around their coach awaiting the call a young wide receiver spoke up.  He wanted the ball, he told his coach what play was primed for success and looked into the eyes of his teammates and told them he’d be wide open.  The coach saw it in his eyes and heard it in his voice.  The play was called, just as requested, more like demanded by that confident young wide out on that sunny Friday afternoon in September.  Like a scene from a movie, it couldn’t have played out any better.
     The play was executed with perfection, the running back carried out the fake beautifully, the offensive line withstood the defenses rush and the quarterback was perfect with his precision.  The wide receiver locked up with his defender and sold the run.  He applied just the right amount of pressure to the defender to make him think he was really trying to block him.  As the wide receiver let him go the defender did what was expected, he charged toward the backfield as the wide receiver darted down field in pursuit of his touchdown.  Looking back over his shoulder he found the quarterback and watched the football fly from his hand in a flawless arc to the end zone to meet his awaiting hands.  The coach knew it was the perfect call in that situation with his bold young receiver all alone running to meet up with the ball.  The crowd was on their feet as they saw the play develop from their perch in the bleachers and began to celebrate the sight of the wide-open receiver running away from the defense toward the ball.
     Sometimes you catch the ball, sometimes you get to be the hero and win the game.  Sometimes you stumble, other times you fall.  And every now and then you just might drop the ball.  That undersized 14-year-old receiver was I.  I dropped the ball that day.  I failed.  I failed in the spot light, I failed in the spot light that I actually requested, hell that I demanded.  Turn the lights up extra bright coach because I got this.  I failed directly in front of the Varsity coaches standing out the back of the end zone.  I failed in front of my coaches, my teammates, my friends, my classmates and the packed bleachers with my family watching.  It’s been 19 years since that game and I still think about it.  I don’t sit around and dwell on it, but it pops up every now and again in my head when I think life is getting hard. 
     That moment helped to make me into whom I am.  It crushed me to the floor and tried to hold me there.  We all have moments in life that will try to keep us down, that will hold us down and make us believe we’ll never be able to stand up again.  I was 14 and that day has stayed with me.  That inner demon in my head tried to speak up and say, “just stay down, fake an injury, you already blew it, there is no shame in quitting.”  I’ll give that little devil credit, he was trying.  “Excuse me?  What do you want me to do?  Who are you trying to convince to stay down?  Get out of my head.  You got the wrong guy.  Watch me, I’m going to get up.”  I got up and I’m so glad I did. 
     I fought him off that day, and continue to fight him off whenever he comes back around.  It’s in those moments in life when it starts to become a struggle that the inner devil in all of us starts to throw around worlds of self-doubt.  Those thoughts that will cripple us and keep us motionless on the floor.   But you know what that little guy doesn’t like?  It doesn’t like someone who fights back.  It doesn’t like someone who is strong enough to take a chance, someone who will put themselves in the spot light, fall down and stand back up taller. 
     I see it all the time in the gym, someone gets pissed they missed hitting a certain weight on a lift or they start comparing themselves to someone else who has way more time and experience invested already.  Fight back.  The biggest enemy in all of our lives is who is in the mirror.  That little devil in your ear is you, it’s just a you that you don’t want around.  That’s on you to evict him.  You have to stop him, no one is going to do it for you.  You have to push back.  You have to stand up and tell it no more.  It’s testing you everyday in a variety of ways.  It’s wants you to take the easy way.  It wants you to take the path most traveled, the road with no roadblocks and smooth pavement.  It doesn’t want you to take the jagged rock riddled, icy mountain trail that winds up to the peak of the snow capped mountain.
     When it gets tough and that little devil pops up you need to knock him down and stand up, get up and go be great.  If you do that every time he’ll eventually become more silent because he knows it isn’t worth it, he knows you’ve changed.  Go be a badass and stand-up taller and taller every time in this life.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” - Nelson Mandela
  

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